October 29, 2009

If a picture tells a thousand words...

This week, the upstanding members of Fairfax Media decided to release a photo of convicted pedophile Dennis Ferguson sun-bathing at Coogee beach wearing nothing but a pair of speedos.

The Herald Scum Sun, Sydney Morning Herald and The Australian ran the repulsive image under the heading, Ferguson beach photo 'a natural setting' (And yes, I am going there).
Now it may have been a while since I frolicked on the lovely beaches of Sydney, and excuse me if I am out of the loop, but the sight of a gaunt, pasty, old pedophile wearing budgie smugglers in close proximity to a bunch of children, does not resemble any 'natural setting' I have ever been a part of. 

Perhaps the journalist responsible for the heading was raised in a large cult where it is nothing if not natural for sex offenders to participate in a spot of half naked beach frolicking alongside small children. Or perhaps I am entirely missing the point.

It is possible that there is no such implication and that the headline is simply alerting us to the fact that Ferguson, is surrounded by a natural beach setting - something we might have been able to figure out for ourselves.
Still, if a picture tells a thousand words than surely the headline frames that ugly picture.

Not once in the article does the journalist make any further reference to the aforementioned 'natural setting' and the article speaks less about the implications of the image and more about Ferguson's trusty bum chum Brett Collins' belief that Ferguson should be entitled to do as he pleases.
As if choosing to publish the photo was not lowbrow enough, Fairfax then chose to present us with Collins' half - baked reasoning as to why Ferguson should be left in peace, knowing all the while that releasing the photo would incite the opposite effect.

What makes the whole thing even more disturbing, is not that Ferguson bears a striking resemblance to Mr Burns from The Simpsons, but that both ferguson and Collins are giving the thumbs up to the photographer in some sort of pathetic gesture of defiance.

Well you cannot have your cake and eat it too people, and if all Ferguson really wants is to assimilate back in to the community that he once so heinously abused, then he should fuck off and stop posing for nude photos.

* I have chosen not to paste the aforementioned photo into my blog.
If you do want to look at it or read the referenced article, you can do so by following these links.

Unless you have been living under a rock in Middle Earth, you will know by now that the fate of the 78 asylum seekers on board the Oceanic Viking is still hanging in the balance. 

Diplomatic talks between Australian and Indonesian governments have not managed to resolve a situation bound up in more red tape than it would take to sink the ship in question. Indonesia says that the boat carrying the asylum seekers was heading to Australian waters and is therefore Australia's responsibility, while the Rudd government is refusing to intervene. 

Yesterday the governor of the Riau Islands, Ismeth Abdullah refused permission for the asylum seekers to be landed on Indonesian territory, stating that his region was not a "dumping ground".

Here is how I think things the stand off is going between K. Rudd and I. Abdullah.

'Kevin, we are not prepared to take this boat okay?'

'Oh Mr Abdullah, Sir....You crack me up'

'No really Kevin, I am being very serious'

'Oh yes, yes of course you are... hehehehehehe'

'Kevin, the boat is not Indonesia's responsibility. 
It was heading toward Australia and besides, you have more than enough room to accommodate the situation, yes?'


'I mean Kevin, please, enlighten me for a moment. 
How many boats have you taken since your time in office?'

'We were advised to send the boat that way'

'Okay but how many boats have you accepted so far?'

'With all due respect, Mr Abdullah,
I do not see your point'

'Please, Kevin, just answer the question okay? How many boats?

KEVIN RUDD: '..............'
PENNY WONG: '..............'

*Can't Abdullah see I'm trying to drink my chai latte?*

'Kevin, it is not a trick question'

'Whoaaaa Nelly, keep your turban on, I never said it was a trick question, 
just give me a moment to think'

'FIVE. I'm pretty sure its been five'

'Nope, sorry, I am just being told it was two'

'And we were told to send the boats that way'

'Well Kevin, as I told you already, this is not for Indonesia to take responsibility.
So you will take this boat back, yes?'

'Um.... hang on a minute Mr Abdullah, just updating my Facebook status......
One sec, sorry....LOL.....almost done......'

STATUS UPDATE:  Someone left the cake out in the rain, and I don't think that I can make it, cause it took so long to bake it and I'll never have that me-mo-ry again..... oh no.....

*Man I'm stoned*
'Now what was it you were saying about a boat?'



aquariusmish said...

ahahhahahahhahahhaha love the dialogue between Rudd and Abdullah, *applauds*

Anonymous said...

So funny!