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March 7, 2010

God Hates Shrimp

Did you know that eating lobster is as big a sin as sex between two males in the eyes of the Christian God? In fact, according to the book of Leviticus which can be found in the old testament (the same book that says homosexuality is an abomination punishable by death) you have no right to even call yourself a Christian if you eat lobster, calamari, shrimp (prawns), mussels or clams. WHOOPS!
So why is it then that nobody knows this? And why is it that biblical literalists have devoted entire lifetimes/careers preaching about the evils of homosexuality as opposed to the evils of eating a seafood bisque? 
And what about homosexual shrimp eaters? 
Are they more condemned or doubly damned than hetrosexual shrimp eaters or does one abomination cancel the other one out?  After all, if we are to take the scripture at its word (as countless Christian religions urge us to do) then surely we should be ramping up the hate campaign against those cretins of the sea and all the sinner folk who partake in their consumption.  And what say ye of sellers of shrimp? 
Surely the folk at Barnacle Bills and Pop Eye's, not to mention Woolworths, Coles and countless other supermarket chains and independent suppliers of finless, scaleless seafood should be... put to death... It is certainly food for thought....(pun intended). 
According to the book of Leviticus, there are certain rules and codes of conduct that one must adhere to lest they be cast as an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. 
Here are my favorites: 

You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination. (Leviticus 18.22)

If a man lies with a man as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. 
(Leviticus 20:13) 

For everyone who curses his mother or father shall be put to death. He has cursed his mother or father and his blood shall be upon him. (Leviticus 20:9) 
(note that this verse is a mere 3 verses before verse 20:13, the most famous anti-gay scripture). 

Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. (Leviticus 19:19)

Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material. (Leviticus 19:19)

Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip the sides of your beard. (Leviticus 19:27) 

But all in the seas or the rivers that do not have fins or scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they shall be an abomination to you. (Leviticus 11:10)

They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination. (Leviticus 11:11)

Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales, that shall be an abomination to you. (Leviticus 11.12)

According to Wikipedia, the word abomination signifies that which is exceptionally loathsome, hateful, sinful, wicked or vile. 

Oh Leviticus.... If we are to take your rantings at their word then all human beings (not just homosexuals) would be considered an abomination and subsequently put to a ghastly death. Personally I should be dead 5 million times over! 
In fact, the only thing I have not done is plant two kinds of seed in my field but that's only because I do not have a field ( I have a garden but Leviticus does not make mention of planting two kinds of seed in a garden). 
Obviously the Christian Church is not concerned with issues such as shrimp eating and poly-cotton clothing and biblical literalists (or homophobic fundamentalists) choose only to focus on certain passages from Leviticus to justify their anti-gay prejudice. 
It is not enough that this prejudice causes gay people to feel ridiculed and rejected but preaching the literal translation causes a large number of gay people (often teens) - who have found the courage to come out - to be rejected by their indoctrinated parents. 
The sin is not homosexuality - the sin is homophobia and until the church does away with this sort of blatant hate mongering, countless innocent people will continue to suffer unimaginable acts of cruelty in the name of a righteous God. 

Because The Bible Told Me So is a powerful film that explores how 5 Christian families have handled having a gay child. It explores all of the themes I have mentioned and it is worth your time.  

This week Marie Osmond's sixteen- year- old son Michael Blosil committed suicide - apparently because of ongoing, severe depression. I knew nothing about the Osmond family - except that Marie was devoutly religious - but while I was watching the above mentioned film, it occurred to me that perhaps Michael may have been gay. After doing a google search, I found out that Michael was in fact, gay and that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints (a Mormon affiliation) to which his mother belongs, has an extremely anti-gay agenda. It may or may not be worth mentioning that Marie also has a gay daughter. Now I am not about to wax lyrical about why the young man felt compelled to take his own life, but as time goes on it will be interesting to see if these speculations are confirmed. 

Australia's own out of touch, Christian fundamentalist, Tony Abbot made headlines last week when he stated that homelessness is a choice.

The Guradian reports that the BBC news website has been running a debate on the charming topic, 'Should homosexuals face execution'? 

On a lighter note, this spoof from The Onion, entitled Gay Teen Worried He Might be Christian, made me laugh out loud. 

5 comments:

Brett Hetherington said...

If you read the list of things that the Leviticus states are abominations you notice that there is not a single "because..." in there. No attempt is made to explain why a shellfish should not be eaten. It is just assertion after assertion, without any argument and reminds me of the short-tempered hand-slapping Allah in the Koran.

mishaloula said...

Thanks for your comments Brett. I agree completely.
Best wishes, Misha.

Anonymous said...

Man those religions just keep at it though don't they...i'll admit,it must be pleasant to just escape life and follow god.

A Sideways Girl said...

I think that gay people must think, "well crap. I'm already damned... I may as well enjoy some tasty seafood while I'm here" ;)

Anonymous said...

Birds of a feather flock together.