That makes me kind of sad, but in the spirit of the new year I have added it to my list of things to do better in 2011. The end of the year has always been a time of deep reflection for me.
Even when I was younger (and more festive), I would still make time to run a long, hot bath and write in my journal... to reflect upon where I have been and where I would like the road to take me. As I have grown older, these journal entries have become a ritualistic blue print for the year ahead, and in a strange way this has become a process of magical thinking; a sacred space to develop my very best intentions.
In our busy lives, many of us underestimate the power of positive intention, and by making time to turn the focus inward, by simply holding a space for yourself and your deepest soul intentions, you can set the tone for the coming year. On new years eve, rather than getting ghoulishly drunk and making a list of empty resolutions, I prefer to run a bath and light candles for each and every blessing and to honour all of the important lessons that have come to me that year.
In this world of materialism, narcism and greed, it is important to honour that for which we are grateful, and to turn our attention to the lessons that have woven their way into the fabric of our lives. This is where we can set the course for all of our best intentions, for all of our hopes and dreams....
In my own life, there have been no big life events or grandiose changes that would make this year stand out above the rest. However, when I think about the darker, grief stricken years that preceded 2010, I do feel like I have turned a big metaphorical corner.
And as subtle as these changes have been (perhaps barely noticeable to others) I imagine that in years to come, I will look back at 2010 as the year that I found my way out of the darkness.
And as subtle as these changes have been (perhaps barely noticeable to others) I imagine that in years to come, I will look back at 2010 as the year that I found my way out of the darkness.
This year, I have cried less and smiled more. I have been able to find a place for my loss and to remember my partner Chance Hall, for the wonderful man that he was, rather than for the sadness that his death brought to my heart. I have crossed a massive threshold with my self-worth and discovered that when I try hard, I am capable of achieving commendable results and this has given me the confidence to reach higher than I ever would have thought possible.
At the start of 2010 I gave up alcohol (after a long and drawn out battle) and this has had a dramatic impact on my psyche. I have become calmer, clearer, less anxious, more centred, more focused and ultimately more fulfilled. I have replaced drama and chaos with solitude and introspection, found gratitude in the smallest places and magic in the gifts of both my children.
This year, more than ever before, I have missed my immediate family (all of whom reside in Victoria) and this longing has been heightened by the realisation that each time I see them, we are all another year older. I have cherished the bonds of friendship that I share with my dearest, kindred souls and felt genuinely blessed by all the people who have found their way into my life and my heart.
I have valued the loyalty and friendship of my two dogs and one cat and the unflinching love that they bring, and I have revelled in the nurturing arms of my environment - the ocean, the trees, the stars & the forest - my own precious garden of eden. And while the stress and worry of money, bills and debt have never been far from my mind, all being said 2010 has been one of the gentler years - a year of observation, reflection, introspection, gratitude and personal development.
I have valued the loyalty and friendship of my two dogs and one cat and the unflinching love that they bring, and I have revelled in the nurturing arms of my environment - the ocean, the trees, the stars & the forest - my own precious garden of eden. And while the stress and worry of money, bills and debt have never been far from my mind, all being said 2010 has been one of the gentler years - a year of observation, reflection, introspection, gratitude and personal development.
For some dear friends, this year will be made memorable by the birth of a child or the union of a marriage, or perhaps the beginning of a new and exciting career. Maybe your baby took his first steps or said her first words, or slept straight through the night..... maybe you fell in love, went back to study, travelled or made a new friend.
I know many friends who have suffered deeply this year and for those of you 2010 will be remembered for that which you have lost and for all that you have endured.... for the pain and heartache of grief and sorrow, for the chaos of mind and soul.
I know many friends who have suffered deeply this year and for those of you 2010 will be remembered for that which you have lost and for all that you have endured.... for the pain and heartache of grief and sorrow, for the chaos of mind and soul.
And so, if you do nothing else before this year is over, I ask that you take the time to honour those who have gone before us in 2010. Light a candle, say a prayer, play a song, or simply honour them in your own way, so that they may continue to burn bright and strong into the new year. Lest we forget.
And as we make room to reflect upon the year that is ending, do not forget to honour those who have stood by your side and held a space with you through the good times and the bad. While the end of year is a time for gratitude and reflection, the new year is a time for magic and possibility, so make room for your wildest hopes and dreams, so that they too may follow you forward.
Life is short and there is nothing stopping you from achieving your dreams so make 2011 count for something.
Do something different, something wonderful, something that you have always wanted to do.... Plant a tree, fly a kite, write a story, have a baby, sponsor a child, take dance lessons, cooking lessons, throw a dinner party, learn a magic trick, paint a picture, make a dress, start a blog, offer your time to a charity, visit an old people's home, write a song, go back to school, go overseas, go on a road trip, babysit for a friend, kiss your children, hug your parents, thank your friends, mend a relationship, make peace with an enemy, heal a wound, give something away, send flowers to someone who is struggling, bake a cake for your neighbour, throw a party, read a book, learn a language, plant a veggie garden, pay it forward, give something back - Be the best person you can Be.
Life is short and there is nothing stopping you from achieving your dreams so make 2011 count for something.
Do something different, something wonderful, something that you have always wanted to do.... Plant a tree, fly a kite, write a story, have a baby, sponsor a child, take dance lessons, cooking lessons, throw a dinner party, learn a magic trick, paint a picture, make a dress, start a blog, offer your time to a charity, visit an old people's home, write a song, go back to school, go overseas, go on a road trip, babysit for a friend, kiss your children, hug your parents, thank your friends, mend a relationship, make peace with an enemy, heal a wound, give something away, send flowers to someone who is struggling, bake a cake for your neighbour, throw a party, read a book, learn a language, plant a veggie garden, pay it forward, give something back - Be the best person you can Be.
To everyone who has been with me through this year in any way, shape or form, may the new year bring you love, light, joy, peace and fulfilment and may you continue to evolve and grow beyond that which you thought possible.
Love always, Misha
8 comments:
Misha,
Thank you for this beautiful, heartfelt post. From your writing it appears that you have a rich inner life. What a miracle in this hurried, outer-oriented world.
Meet your newest follower on Google.
Hope you'll swing by and visit me too. I love company:)
Happy New Year!
Debrahttp://debrasblogpureandsimple.blogspot.com
Thanks Debra! Unfortunately, you have given an incorrect blog address. It should be http://debrasblogpureandsimple.blogspot.com/
so you know for next time. x
Thank you Misha for taking the time to share beautiful kind words
and i do stay still and listen to silence,give thanks for all the blessings and look foward,have walked on the beach had a swim in ocean..bliss,will hold my cat tell him i love him..and let go of past pain.Many Angel Blessings
Carol
Thanks Carol. Wishing you a very happy new year. x
I start writting sumthing(@ a random 2am), pause, think fuck this i'll read your words, i can understand them....ash
Thanks Ash. I didn't know you read my blog. Hope all is well. x
I'm am so glad that you have broken the alcohol habit. A mutual friend of ours continues to fry her brain on Mary Jane, becomes increasingly paranoid and out of touch, becomes aggressively contemptuous of peple who have been her friend, and sadly cannot see that - as has been the pattern throughout her life - that the demons aren't around her, but within.
Myron is to be a father - in March. He is with a woman named Jade. I've pretty much lost contact with him. So many aspects of the 'old life' have fallen away. Like the writing course & friends from that time.
I'm glad you are well. It's a while since you have written. I look forward to your next posting.
Love
Barry
Barry,
when you say a mutual friend of ours, do you mean me and you or you? Smoking pot can have its benefits for some people, especially as a form of pain relief, however for those who are predisposed to mental illness, the effects can be gruesome. I have never been into pot but alcohol had me for many years and it took a great deal of commitment and perseverance to break that pattern. Hope all is well with you Baz xx
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