January 3, 2012
In 2011, I said goodbye to a ten-year best friendship and to the start of an awkward relationship with a man who almost drove me back to drinking. I had surgery that was supposed to "fix" my neck and I had to reconcile the fact that the surgery did not fix anything. I joined a pain clinic and started walking on the beach. I nursed a close friend through a breakdown and almost buried my dog due to tick paralysis. I lost my aunty - the first of my mother's siblings to die - and it was her death that forced me to contemplate the reality that my own parents will not be around forever. But by far the worst part of last year was trying to fix the fight I had with my little sister, and then somehow making it worse. In the process of trying to defend my actions, I hurt her very deeply and out of all the things I have ever done, I regret that more than anything. If I could go back and change one thing about 2011, I would never have hurt my sister.
But hang on a minute, 2011 wasn't all bad! There was so much to be grateful for! I finished my counselling degree and moved into a new, luxurious home and I started baking again for my family after a four year hiatus. I grieved a little less for my beloved partner and started working in a professional capacity as a freelance editor. I lost some weight, read some great books, watched some excellent films and gained invaluable knowledge and experience through my volunteer work at a drug and alcohol rehab centre. I watched my babies grow another year older and loved every minute of being their mother - even the trials of parenting a 16-year old boy.
As I look forward to the new year unfolding, I want to give thanks for all the rewarding experiences that were born in 2011 and to hopefully learn something of value from the negative experiences and those things that caused me pain. In many ways, 2011 was all about letting go of the things in my life that were not working and 2012 will be all about investing my energy in the things that are. This year I will commence my first postgraduate year in psychology and I am so excited about that.
Thanks to the support of a dear friend, I will be able to support myself and my family with more editing work, which means never having to go back to waitressing or cleaning. I will read more books, watch more movies, walk on the beach with my dogs and be here for my kids as they get another year older. And who knows, I may even try to start socialising again. Maybe.
I know they may not be the most exciting plans, but I look forward to every precious moment and from where I stand right now, life is definitely worth celebrating. Happy New Year!